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When he wasn’t yelling “Show me the money!” Tom Cruise, playing the title character in the movie “Jerry Maguire” uttered a famous movie line that made many swoon – “You Complete me.”  It was sweet and earnest and romantic, but sadly it’s off base.  Nobody can complete you.  Not that people and relationships aren’t good – they are great and needed, but aren’t necessary for you to be “complete.”

Because what happens if you aren’t in a relationship?  If  you are divorced or widowed?  Are you now incomplete?  Of course not. It’s okay to want to be in a relationship.  Relationships are a vital part of our lives – all relationships, not just romantic.  But if our well-being is dependent on another person, we are screwed.  This idea that we need to have someone to complete us, often leads us to be in relationships that are unhealthy.  It can lead to co-dependency. 

If you are in a relationship, you are not complete because of the other person – you are complete, because you just are as an individual.  If you are single, you are enough.  And you are never incomplete.


**Eric has his Masters in Counseling and when not on B105.7, works as a private practice counselor**


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