Let’s say you’re going to spend some time with family and let’s say there’s some strife… maybe a person you’re not looking forward to seeing. I’ll be honest – we have some of that in my family. I’ll share with you, as a therapy student, how I’m planning to handle that in my family. If you like my approach, maybe it could work for your family. That’s this week’s Tune Up Tuesday – a little nugget you can use to tune up relationships in your life.
So, it’s pretty simple. There is an individual in my family who has created a somewhat unpleasant dynamic. And here’s my plan… to talk to them about it, gently, kindly, and privately. I sent them a text a few days ago and said – “hey, when I’m home for the holidays… I wonder if we could grab a beer or a cup of coffee… just the two of us.” This person said sure. I’m planning ot share with them how their behavior has made me feel, concerns I have.
So, generically it might sound like this — “When this has happened, I’ve felt strife and tension in the family. What I want and hope for is more unity and kindness. That’s how I’m experiencing the family dynamics. How are you experiencing them?”
I’m going into it with gentleness, no emotional charge, and with curiosity about what it’s like for them too. Now, this isn’t going to work with everyone…but if you have some strife and a family member who is even a little bit open… maybe a private conversation would help.
In addtion to hosting mornings on B105.7, Sean Copeland is workign on a masters degree to be a therapist.
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