How to Not Overreact and Respond to Those Who Do
When someone criticizes, judges, or blames you, how do you typically react?
Most of the time we want to take care of ourselves in some way. The internal dialogue happens in a split second… “This person is behaving badly and they can’t get away with it.” We’re convinced that we can get the other person to change and we think that by guilting, punishing, or even “teaching” them we’re taking care of ourselves.
Instead, it most often leads to overaction and not the outcome we hoped for. Instead of changing, the person usually feels controlled and they respond with even more reactivity. This creates a negative cycle where both parties feel wronged and are trying to get the other to see how they’ve caused the problem.
Instead, what if you really tried to take care of yourself? Instead of covertly trying to control the other person – because, let’s be honest… that’s what we’re doing most of the time.
Instead, disengage.
When you do this, you will feel better! By not engaging, you won’t add fuel to the other person’s fire and they’ll be left with their bad feelings. That’s preferable to you both feeling bad. The bottom line — non-reactivity is hard, but it’s often the best way to take care of yourself.
In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, Sean Copeland is also a licensed mental health therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN.
