Eric Allen

Eric Allen

Do you want to resolve a conflict or do you want to be right?  This was part of a discussion I had with someone earlier this week.  It was a reminder of we often argue and deal with problems.  If we are honest, we often just want to be “right” versus solving a problem. That’s […]

Are you a thermometer or are you a thermostat?  Both devices deal with temperature, but their uses are different. A thermometer simply reflects the temperature, but a thermostat actually determines the temperature.  A thermostat can be adjusted and suited to the environment and the needs of the room. How about you – in your workplace, […]

Finding someone to date can be as close as your phone! But while dating apps have made looking for love easier, they could also be hurting you, too. There have been several studies that show a link between dating apps and loneliness, which is ironic given that many go to the apps to be less […]

Did you make your bed today?  I know, I may sound like your mom now. It’s possible you make it everyday or making your bed  might doesn’t seem like that big of deal to you. But beyond the neatness factor, making your bed can be a very important and valuable thing for you to do.  […]

Yesterday I heard a friend say how nice it was just to have someone ask, “How are you feeling?”  With so much going on, we have a tendency to share our thoughts and feelings or discuss what’s going on, without giving friends and family an opportunity to share how they are doing. It’s interesting, because […]

Keep the main thing the main thing.  This is a phrase that we use in all sorts of different contexts, but in my counseling work it serves as reminder to focus on the issue at hand.  When there is conflict it is easy to get sidetracked.  To start arguing about other things, often times creating […]

Stress either starts in or ends up in your relationships.  It goes without saying that we are living in an extremely stressful time, which is taking its toll on lives in more ways we realize. Stress depletes our energy that we need to not just function in our day-to-day activities, but energy we need to […]

How good are you at asking for help?  Whether it’s a chore around the house, asking a friend to help you move or reaching out to someone when you are really struggling, there seems to be varying degrees of seeking help and also varying degrees of what we feel comfortable asking help for. If we […]

“Agree to disagree.”  Have you said this?  Better yet, do you really believe it’s possible?  If we could do this in our world it would be amazing, but let’s start with our relationships. When you disagree with a loved one or a friend, do you dig your heels in, get defensive and argue your point?  […]

Back in the 80’s AT&T had an ad campaign with the slogan – “Reach Out and Touch Someone.”  That idea is a no-no these days with social distancing. Seriously, though, the idea behind the commercial was not to physically touch someone, but to pick up the phone and call someone. And more and more of […]