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“The thing is not the thing.” You may have heard that phrase before. It refers to how often something may appear one way on the surface, but the problem is something different or deeper.

This can apply to our anger.

You know those times when you blow up over something that might be relatively minor? It’s because you are more than likely frustrated with something else … or maybe it’s a string of things that have built up over time that caused you to lose it.

But if we really want to deal with our anger, we have to really know what we are really angry about.

And that can be hard, because that may mean not allowing things like fear, insecurity or pride get in the way of uncovering the cause of anger.

It’s only then and there when we can finally work through our anger, because we know what are really angry about.  To put it another way, we now know what the thing is behind the thing.

Next time you get angry – dig deep to discover what you are really angry about so you can deal with it and hopefully get to a much better place.


**Eric has his Masters in Counseling and when not on B105.7, works as a private practice counselor.**

Photo Credit: Getty Images/Khosrork