Pruning the Garden of Your Relationship

Sometimes, without even realizing it, wedges start to creep into our relationships, creating distance and disconnection. These wedges can be small yet impactful, and it’s essential to identify and address them before they cause significant damage.

What Are Wedges?

Wedges can take many forms. They may be rooted in personal emotions—like pride, unforgiveness, or uncontrolled anger. Even negative words can act as wedges, creating barriers where there once was closeness. It’s easy to let these feelings fester, but recognizing them is the first step toward restoring harmony.

Wedges can also come from outside sources. Perhaps you’ve had negative input from family or friends, or maybe you’re simply overwhelmed by an overbooked schedule. I can’t tell you how many couples I’ve worked with in therapy who struggle to complete their homework because they claim they “didn’t have time.” If nurturing your relationship isn’t worthy of your time, then what is?

The Importance of Regular Maintenance

Think of your relationship as a garden that requires regular maintenance. Just like a garden can become overgrown and chaotic without care, so too can our relationships become tangled and strained if we don’t take the time to address issues. Regularly pruning away those emotional and external wedges can create space for growth and connection.

Here are a few steps to help you get started:

Identify the Wedges: Take time to reflect on your relationship. Are there feelings of pride or unresolved anger? Is there outside negativity affecting your bond? Write down what comes to mind.
Communicate Openly: Once you’ve identified potential wedges, it’s crucial to discuss them with your partner. Open communication can help clear the air and promote understanding.
Set Boundaries: If outside influences are causing friction, it may be necessary to set boundaries with family and friends. Protecting your relationship should be a priority.
Prioritize Each Other: Reassess your schedule and carve out intentional time for one another. Date nights, quiet evenings at home, or simply checking in with each other can make a world of difference.
Practice Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges is vital for emotional health. Make a conscious effort to forgive each other for past misunderstandings and work towards a more harmonious relationship.

Nurturing Your Love

Remember, the bottom line is that for your love to grow and stay strong, you’ve got to keep the garden of your relationship well pruned. If you feel your connection slipping, don’t hesitate to take action. It’s never too late to cultivate a deeper bond.

In addition to hosting The Sean Show on B105.7, Sean Copeland is a therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN.