This Trick Can Stop Arguing in its Tracks
This Trick Can Stop Arguing in its Tracks
A viral trick that some say will stop arguing and bickering in its tracks. See if you think it could work in your life. It’s called the “1 to 10 Rule”—and here’s how it works:
When you and your partner are about to lock horns over something, pause and ask each other: “On a scale from 1 to 10, how important is this to you?”
A “1” means you could not care less. A “10” means you’re ready to fight to the death (figuratively, of course). Whoever is closest to 10 wins this round. And just like that, you’ve turned a potential argument into a win-win: one person feels heard, and the other feels gracious for letting go of something that doesn’t matter much to them anyway.
Clinical psychologists behind the idea say it puts both partners’ needs on the table—literally ranked. It’s not about winning or losing, but about figuring out whose heart is most set on the outcome and letting that be the guide. They say it can help you choose peace over power and learn how to work with each other, not against each other.
I don’t think it’s going to work to solve all conflicts, but it could certainly solve some and keep others from getting blown out of proportion.
In addition to hosting The Sean Show on B105.7, Sean Copeland is a therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN.
