When Humor Becomes a Hiding Place in Your Relationship

Some people turn into a stand-up comedian the second things get serious.  I’ve seen this in my therapy office.  Moving in together, money, big emotions – and people are using humor to deflect.  On the surface it can seem harmless (or even charming)…but in reality, it’s an unhelpful defense mechanism.  It can feel safer to deflect, but it can make your partner feel dismissed or unimportant. It sends the message: “I’m here for laughs, not the hard stuff.”

Instead, try something like “Hey, I know I joke a lot when things get heavy. Honestly, it’s because serious conversations are hard for me.”

That simple moment of vulnerability can do more than you realize.  It reassures your partner that you’re not brushing them off, you’re just learning how to be vulnerable.

The bottom line is, relationships grow not just through laughter, but through courage. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do… is skip the punchline.

In addition to hosting The Sean Show on B105.7, Sean Copeland is a therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN.