Dry January isn’t for everyone. Whether you’re skipping alcohol for health reasons or just trying to survive winter one day at a time, the internet has come up with some hilarious alternatives to Dry January that don’t take themselves too seriously. From comfort food to emotional releases, here are the best unofficial ways people are tackling January instead.
Fry January
What it is: Eat only fried foods for the entire month. Why people love it: January is cold, sad, and deserves fries. This is the comfort-food version of self-care—crispy, golden, and zero judgment.
Shy January
What it is: Avoid all people as much as humanly possible. Why people love it: Social battery still recovering from the holidays? Same. Shy January is for staying home, ignoring texts, and recharging in peace.
Cry January
Love Lifestyle? Get more! Join the B 105.7 Newsletter
What it is: Cry freely and often until the emotional weight of the previous year is fully released. Why people love it: Therapy is expensive. Cry January is free. Sometimes you just need to feel it to heal it.
Pie January
What it is: All meals must be served under a thick pie crust. Why people love it: If it’s wrapped in pastry, it counts as balanced. Sweet or savory, Pie January understands winter priorities.
Rye January
What it is: Whiskey shots every day (preferably rye). Why people love it: For those who laughed out loud at “Dry January,” Rye January feels more honest. Moderation optional.
Why January
What it is: A month-long existential crisis. Why people love it: Because January makes everyone question their job, life choices, and why it gets dark at 4:30 p.m.
