If you or your spouse are a bit of a hot head, here’s something you should know – love and uncontrolled anger can’t peacefully coexist. So, if tempers often flare in your relationship – here are some things to consider in this week’s Tune Up Tuesday – just a little nugget you might be able to use to tune up your relationship.
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. Anger is a clue that something doesn’t feel right to you. When you feel it, though… you need to express it. So many couples play the game of guess my mood. Don’t throw ice cold stares and expect your partner to read your mind. If something has been said or done to make you feel angry, express that you’re angry and why.
Here’s the challenging (but important) part — get curious about your partner’s perspective. If you can express curiosity while angry, chances are you’re handling it in a healthy and productive way. And be curious of yourself too. Yes you feel angry, but what else do you feel because anger is a secondary emotion. The first emotion is often sadness or fear. With anger, always be looking for the thing behind the thing.
In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, Sean Copeland is studying to be a relationship therapist.
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