Free Therapy: Using Curiosity to Create Connection
How curious are you?
We don’t usually think of curiosity as a relationship skill. It’s what kids use when they ask a hundred questions about dinosaurs, or what we use when we Google “Why do dogs tilt their heads?” at 2 a.m. But curiosity is actually one of the most powerful tools we have for keeping love alive.
Here’s why: when you stop being curious, you stop connecting. And when you stop connecting… well, that’s when relationships start to unravel.
It doesn’t have to be that way. The next time you feel yourself shutting down with your partner — maybe during an argument or when you’re just tired of “the same old thing” — hit pause. Instead of focusing on the behavior, try to understand the person behind it. Ask yourself one simple question: Am I curious?
When you’re curious, something shifts. You’ll ask clarifying questions instead of firing off comebacks. You’ll seek understanding over judgment. You’ll lean in instead of pulling away. That little spark of curiosity creates the climate for honest, honoring conversations — the kind that repair, restore, and reconnect.
You can’t change another person. But by staying curious, you can change the tone of the conversation, the health of your connection, and maybe even the entire direction of your relationship.
So the next time things feel tense or distant, try a curious question: “Help me understand…” or “What’s that like for you?” It may just be the difference between a breakdown and a breakthrough.
In addition to hosting The Sean Show on B105.7, Sean Copeland is a therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, IN.
