Tune Up Tuesday! In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, I work in the afternoons as a therapist and on Tuesday mornings I’ll share a nugget or two that you can maybe use to “tune up” a relationship in your life or maybe even your own mental health. This morning – it’s something we all may think we’re decent at, but here’s how you can be downright masterful at it.
I’m talking about listening.
Being a good listener starts with putting the phone down. It ought to go without saying, but it doesn’t – no phone, no TV, no screens basically is what I’m saying. Instead, focus on making eye contact and being fully present with your attention.
Secondly, we need to listen to understand as opposed to listening to respond or just waiting for our turn to talk. A great way to do this is mirroring. Mirror back or repeat back some of what you hear your partner say – and add… empathy – like, “oh, man it sounds like it was a tough day at work. You must be worn out!” And if you want to get really fancy, you can even ask… how can I help? Either way, this will make your partner feel heard and maybe even understood when you put your world on the shelf and get really curious and listen really well to what’s going on in their world.