Tune Up Tuesday! In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, I work in the afternoons as a licensed therapist (at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood, Indiana) and on Tuesday mornings, I share a nugget or two you might be able to use to sort of “tune up” your relationship. This morning, the one time when mind reading is a good idea in your relationship.
If you expect your spouse, kids, or even a friend to meet your needs without an open discussion, it can keep you personally unaware of your own thoughts, needs, and expectations. If you’ve ever thought –”Well, I shouldn’t have to tell him this”… or “If he loved me, he would know this.” Those are two tell-tale signs that you’re depending on mindreading.
Generally speaking mind reading is going to create misunderstandings, disappointments, resentment, stress, and ultimately disconnection. So, the only time mind reading is healthy for your relationship is – when you’re reading your own mind.
What I mean by that is pausing to get a greater awareness of your own feelings, thoughts, and expectations. You can then start to recognize your own reactivity and what’s underneath your disappointment. Over time, you’ll feel less frustrated and more empowered to ask for what you need – instead of unfairly expecting someone to read your mind and know. Read more here.
