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Giving you a week’s worth of Tune Ups… in honor of Valentine’s Day!  On Tuesday mornings, I do a segment called Tune up Tuesday where I give you a little nugget you might be able to use to sort of “tune up” your relationship.  Doing one every morning this week headed into the holiday of love

This morning, 17% of us say we wish our spouse would do this without us having to ask them to do it.  That would be household chores!  Let me say this, there is no room for mind reading in a relationship.  It’s so unfair for you to have expectations or hopes that you never speak to…and then you hold your spouse accountable.

Today’s unspoken expectations become tomorrow’s resentments. 

If you need help around the house, talk to your spouse about it clearly and as a team.  Make some agreements.  One little agreement we have, as an example…whoever gets home first.  Some days its me, some days its my husband Andy… but whoever gets home first sort of scans the environment for little chores that need to be done.  Not major household cleaning, but is the recycling full?  Does the dishwasher need to be unloaded?  Things like that… so, that when the partner who arrives home later comes in, they’re feeling cared for and less stressed since they’re walking into an environment that’s relatively chore free.  That environment scan may not work for everyone, but what does work for everyone is clearly communicating your hopes or expectations as opposed to waiting for your partner to read your mind.

In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, Sean Copeland is a therapist for couples and individuals aEvolve Therapy in Greenwood, Indiana.