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Tune Up Tuesday!  In addition to hosting mornings on B105.7, I work in the afternoon as a therapist at Evolve Therapy in Greenwood.  On Tuesday mornings, I share little nuggets I’ve learned that you may be able to use to “tune up” your relationship.

Today, if you’ve ever shared marriage woes with a friend or had a friend share their relationship struggles with you – then this tune up is for you.

First, when you speak to someone other than your therapist or your partner, you’re communicating to people who can’t do anything about it.  Underneath every criticism, complaint, or struggle is a feeling or a need.  Why don’t you help more around the house?  That probably has feelings of being unappreciated and the need for more support.  If talking to your spouse from a feeling place isn’t something you do, it’s important to learn how.  “I need support.” Or “I’m feeling unsupported when I’m making dinner and you’re playing video games.”  The point is – couples HAVE to communicate about what they like, what they don’t like, and how they feel about things.

I’ve yet to meet a couple who can effectively read each other’s minds, but I’ve met a ton of couples who EXPECT their partner to know what they need.  And that’s not fair.

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