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Two words that have no place in your relationship!  That’s this week’s Tune Up Tuesday.  I’m working on a masters degree to be a therapist, so each Tuesday around 8:15A, I give you a little nugget I’ve learned that you can use to tune up your relationship.


Today’s – the two words that have no place in your relationship:  always and never.  “You never listen to me.”  Or… “I always have to remind you to do this.”  Not only are those extreme qualifiers that are often not true, they’re also empirically critical.  Statements with always or never are more likely to lead your partner to shut down or get defensive and that’s likely not the result you’re wanting. 

So, instead of – “you never listen to me,” try… “When you don’t look at me while I’m talking, it’s hard for me to know if you’re listening or care about what I have to say.”  The formula… when you (blank), I feel (blank) will hopefully sound a little more vulnerable and less critical to your partner… and it’s more likely to open up a discussion. 

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